RED: Part 2- A Look at the Movie

I did enjoy the RED: Retired, Extremely Dangerous, but perhaps a cast of veteran actors had given me the hopes that this would be an all-star script, far more unique and revolutionizing. Instead it was a by-the-book funny action movie, an accumulation of all the clichés instead of putting a new spin on them.

Every actor did their job, and gave the character portrayals that were expected of them, but these are brilliant actors who were given their typical type-casted roles, and therefore brought nothing new or fresh to the film. Perhaps that’s the problem with screenwriters who write a script specifically for certain actors, they are no longer forced to push the boundaries of the actors’ skills.

I simply missed the mark on what type of movie this was supposed to be. It was advertised as a kick-ass, straight-up action movie that combined the best veterans to make the best action movie ever made. Instead it was simple a film made for the purpose of being wacky and to give the actors a chance to make fun of how old they are. It treats the genre with sarcasm rather than honor.

I was impressed at how the actors were able to laugh at themselves. From Willis’ reenactment of his Die Hard character to Freeman’s ridiculous blue suit, the actors were clearly mocking their own work, but we were able to laugh with them, instead of at them, which was the pure source of entertainment of the movie.

The love interests were also, as usual in an action movie, not fully formed and at times too unbelievable. Mary-Louise Parker, who is nearly 10 years Willis’ junior, looked an additional 10 years younger than she was, providing an awkward element to the romance. The romance did not overcome any particular obstacles. Parker simply leapt into Willis’ arms, despite a brief hesitation demonstrated in the beginning scenes of the movie. At least she was a source of entertainment in the moments where there were no guns or chasing.

 It was far too predictable, but I realize now that was the point.

Haven't seen the movie yet? Think you might be interested? Check out the trailer!

RED: Part 1-A Look at the Cast

RED: Retired, Extremely Dangerous came out October last year and I have wanted to see for the longest while. I can’t confess to have been fascinated by the All-Star cast. I’ve never seen a movie with Bruce Willis. I only a vague recollection of John Malcovitch as one of the Three Musketeers in the movie “The Man with the Iron Mask. Morgan Freeman was nothing more than a voice that talked about Penguins. Helen Mirren is one of my favorite actresses, and I was excited at the prospect of seeing her holding a giant gun, kicking some serious butt.

Bruce Willis’ plays Frank Moses and he opens the movie. He is a moody, brooding, retired CIA agent. The only evidence that he still has a social life are the scenes of him flirting with the smart, innocent, pretty love interest that looks too young for Willis anyway. Based on what I have heard of his previous work, he seemed to have slipped into yet another role of the touch old guy who can effortlessly fight anyone who comes in his way.

Frank Moses’ Best Line: “People get shot all the time.”

Willis isn’t actually all that exciting in the rest movie but I kind of expected that. But what was up with Morgan Freeman? He plays Joe Matheson and was barely in the movie. He opens as this old guy in a retirement home, hitting on the nurses and wearing a red velvet sweat suit. If you ask me, he sold out a little bit by playing such a cliché character.

Joe Matheson
 Best Line: “Well... I never thought this would happen to me…Getting old. Well I mean, Vietnam, Afghanistan. The Green Spring Rest Home?”

Enter Malcovitch, the Crazy one of the group. His character named Marvin Boggs is only insane as a result of being fed LSD for 11 years. The dialogue, again, is clichéd, witty banter, but I can’t deny that it worked. Malcovitch was pretty hilarious. He walks around holding a giant stuffed pig and accusing everyone of being spies. Malcovitch brings another interesting and unique aspect to the movie. He is a great example of how the movie incorporated the fact that they were older than the average action stars. For example he has difficulties reading the notes he makes.

Malcovitch Best Line:

Businesswoman: That's right, old man!
Marvin Boggs: Old man?
Frank Moses: No respect.
Marvin Boggs: Can I kill her now?
Frank Moses: [nods affirmative]
Marvin Boggs: [steps out from hiding and shoots her oncoming bazooka rocket blowing her up]
Marvin Boggs: Old man my ass!

At this point about a third of the movie had gone by. The action sequences looked awesome, though they were very predictable and full of typically bad-ass one-liners. But the real question is: Where is Helen Mirren?!?!?!?

Finally we meet her. She plays Victoria and like everyone else did when they say Willis, she asked “Are you here to kill me?  I don’t know what’s up with that. Clearly Willis’s character was never very trustworthy. She has adapted to retirement well. She enjoys flower arranging, baking, and every now and then works as an assassin.

Victoria Best Line: “In all the years I've known [Frank Moses], I've never seen him like this. So if you break his heart, I will kill you. And bury you body in the woods.”

Everyone seems to have their role. Freeman gets all the information. Willis plans the attack strategy. Mirren is the Hit Woman, and Malcovitch drives the getaway car.

Click here to find out more about the movie RED or check out the IMDB page.

Good Eats for the Twilight Stars Part 1

I know I have been really slow in putting up a recipe for Eclipse, but there weren't really any good references in the movie so I had no idea what to make. Grace Anastasio suggested I make something with wine, because Bella is always "whining". I thought this was really cute, but then I was afraid that I would get in trouble for being under-21 and "using alcohol" so just to be safe, I avoided any any wine and/or beers.

This leaded me straight into my next dilemma.  I wanted to make a red drink for Edward (to signify blood, of course) but when you type "Red Drink Recipes" into the search engine, almost every result is some type of alcoholic beverage. Not really helpful. Since I really didn't want to make a smoothie, I decided to get in touch with my inner bartender and whip up my own non-alcoholic drink.

Throw about about a two or three large strawberries in the food processor. Mash it up a little with a fork first if you want to so the juices will come out faster. Do not add too many strawberries. I used about five and ended up with way too much of the drink afterward. Strawberrries also have a very strong and overpowering flavor, so you don't want to use to much.

Add an orange and a handful of blueberries and blend on high. You want the mixture to be as smooth as possible. You don't want any chunks. If you really want to, you can add a little sugar. I'm actually not sure if I want to recommend that you do this at all, because my drink ended up being really really sweet. Since you shouldn't make as much as I did, don't add more than 1/4 cup of sugar. I, of course, haven't tried making it without sugar but I still think it would be better.

Here is the part that was kinda fun for me. Put your mixture into a strainer, and let the watery part drain into a bowl while the flesh of the fruit sits on top. If you added sugar, instead of a bowl, put it in a saucepan and turn the fire on low so that the sugar can melt isn't grainy. The mixture is pretty thick so it will take a while. If you're in a hurry, grab a spoon stir it and the juice will pour out faster.

This is the part where is where my genius culinary skills shined through. Discard the left over fruit in the strainer (or save it for a future smoothie), and add a drink called Malta. I found a great little website to tell you a little more about Malta. The drink on the website is alcoholic (technically it is a beer), but at World Harvest International and Gourmet Foods (519 E. University Avenue, Champaign, IL-Actually this store is pretty close to Uni) you can buy non-alcoholic Malta and be free of any guilt. Of course any readers over 21 can feel free to buy the regular beer Malta. It's in the back of the store in the refrigerator.

I have been drinking Malta all my life and it is a very common drink among West-Indians. I always get a little nervous giving it to my friends, because I don't know if they will like it or not, but it really does taste almost like a mix between cola and molasses. If you don't like Malta, you might not like this recipe. Malta is also very sweet which I why you shouldn't add too much sugar.

Anyway, add the Malta to the bowl. Add as much as you want based on how much you like it. Warning though, Malta is brown and the drink wont look pretty at all. But we'll fix that later.

Rinse out the food processor and blend some ice until you get what looks like snow. Add the drink and blend. Then add more ice, and continue blending. The drink still won't look pretty, but in order to make this a drink truly made for Edward, add red food coloring! There you have it! I still had some issues with the taste because mine was so sweet. I think a little lime might have made an improvement, but I didn't have any to try that out. Another problem I had was the foam on top of the drink that looks like a whitish-pink froth. I thought it looked a little weird, but I was able to siphon some off the top. It actually tasted pretty nice, and the bottom of the drink was a really cool deep red. Very blood inspired.

In the next post I am going to put up some food for Jacob. I am leaning toward trying about a Fry Bread recipe in honor of his heritage. Fry bread is delicious, but let me know if you have any other ideas for him. Later on for Bella, I promised Grace that I would do something with White Bread-because Bella is so White. So stay tuned!

The Sun and the Moon

Twilight is my guilty pleasure. I have to admit that I read the books and watch the movies. It's not a piece of amazing literature, or cinematic genius, and yet everyone seems to have caught up in Twilight fever. Even if you haven't read the books or seen the movies, I'm sure you know everything about it. Eclipse is the latest movie of the Twilight Saga. It's definitely the best, which I guess isn't saying much because the first two movies weren't that good, but whatever.

The action in this movie is it's lifesaver. The final battle at the climax is so much fun. It stars off with the Cullens standing and glaring with the crazy newborns are running through the woods. And then all the sudden the werewolves come out of nowhere and start biting chunks out of everyone. It's a little unnerving to see people's arms so casually ripped off, but it definitely adds a new dimension to on-screen fighting.

I still have issues with the way they portray the leads. I always said in the books I am Team Edward, and in the movie I am Team Jacob, because Kirsten Stewart and Robert Pattinson are the most awkward onscreen couple I have ever seen. But I still can't wait to see the fourth and fifth movie!

To Dream or Not to Dream: Part 2

With Valentine's Day right aroung the corner, I wanted to make another dessert that any of you can make for your sweetheart-and enjoy snuggling under a blanket and while watching Inception! I found this recipe for Sweetheart Tarts on the Food Network website. I actually didn't plan to do these at all. I made an interesting Bluefish and Pomegranate recipe that just looked and tasted so horrible that I couldn't endure the embarrassment of posting it up here. But the Sweetheart Tarts ended up being a clever foodification of this film.

See, one of the coolest ideas in this movie is the concept of a dream within a dream. The dreamer goes to sleep, then dreams that he is sleeping and in another dream. In the movie, the dreamers risk three dream levels: A dream within a dream within a dream. This is exactly what I loved about the Sweetheart Tarts. Except this time, its the cherry, withing the jam, within the cookie!

With an ordinary sugar cookie recipe, put little circlets of the dough in a muffin tray. While they are baking in the oven, melt some jam and coat the cherry in the jam. Personally, I thought it ended up being a little too sweet, so I added grated orange rind on the top (to represent limbo perhaps? ;).

The end result was quite beautiful and yummy. It was so easy to make. I am a terrible baker, but this may be the best baked good that I have ever made. I only had one problem. The bottom of the cookies didn't like flat in the muffin tray and weren't as cuplike as I thought they would be. If this happens to you, just push it down a little and shove the cherry in there. The cherries can also be a little hard to taste, so popping a second one in is also a nice idea. I really hope people try to make this! Let me know if you do.

To Dream or Not to Dream: Part 1

I may have been the last person to have done it, but I have finally seen Inception. It was nothing like I thought it would be. Typically I hate psycho-thrillers, but this is the best one I have encountered, that has given me a new appreciation for the genre. Unlike others I have seen, Inception doesn’t solely rely on cheesy suspenseful music, and close-up shots of fear on the actor’s faces. It ignites true anticipation and anxiety rather than a fake imitation of the emotion.

Everyone is all gung-ho about the special effects, but for me it wasn’t even about that. I was pleased and surprised by the plotline-and to me that is the best aspect of the movie. After a constant stream of sequels, prequels, remakes, and cheesy plotlines, to watch a film with an original, unpredictably plot was simply refreshing. I started to suspect some things about the ending and some of my guesses were right, and some were wrong, but the fact that I had to, and wanted to, give my whole attention to every second of the movie was a more exciting than any predictable movie I could watch.

The idea of manipulation during a state of unconscious is not completely new to me. Ideas like studying right before you go to bed, so that the concepts you learned can fully manifest themselves in your mind is an example of this. However, I can’t deny that the idea of someone taking advantage of my sleeping, vulnerable state doesn’t freak me out a bit. Though the concept was well made, including things like your subconscious fighting against an obvious invasion, or the time proportions throughout each stage of a dream. The plotline didn’t have any loose ends, or theories that didn’t make sense in the scheme of things.

The special effects were spectacular. My favorite part is when DiCaprio takes Page dream-sharing for the first time and she folds their environment into a box so that the streets are above her. They didn’t look unrealistic at all, and even though in reality it is too hard for me to conceive, on film, the visual representation of that idea translated perfectly.

The perception of death in this movie is one of the more psychologically disturbing aspects of the movie. The characters tread a fine line between the ideas that killing someone can be inconsequential and that death is an ending of a life. Throughout the film the characters steadily blast away “projections” and yet DiCaprio’s character (who probably kills the most amounts of people in the whole movie) is still reluctant to shoot the projection that is his wife.  It was just jarring, mentally, for me to constantly switch back and forth between death not being real, and death causing a lasting emotional impact on the characters.  The transitions were smooth in the film, but my mind couldn’t make the switch as easily.

Inception played with my mind, but it didn’t destroy it. I am so tired of psycho-thrillers meant to scare me out of my wits-and nothing else. This particular film addresses the idea of regrets, the fact that putting actions to our thoughts can ultimately alter who we are, and how we should tread carefully when manipulating the thoughts of others.  Inception took psycho-thrillers to a new level, one that blended a story that seems so realistic on screen, that I know I couldn’t conceive in my everyday reality. Honestly, I am glad I got to see such a cool movie, I just wished I hadn't watched it so close to my bedtime. Who knows how warped my dreams will be tonight?

For more information on Inception, check out the IMDB page or the Offical Movie Site.

Part Two with the recipe comming soon!
Questions? Observations? Suggestions? Post a comment below.

Confessions about Toffee Apples

Okay I have to tell everyone the truth. I recommended the Toffee Apple recipe without bothering to try making it. So in an effort to redeem myself I decided to give it a go.

Unfortunately, I have a terribly cavalier approach to cooking so I attempted the recipe without really looking at the ingredients. I omitted the vinegar and the butter. I just put sugar in a pot (white sugar, since my brown sugar seemed to be hiding somewhere beneath the box of flour, yeast, and baking powder) and added water. In an effort to display my culinary genius, I added juice from an orange as well.

It actually went okay at first. The mixture started boiling just like in the video. But after a few minutes I started to feel a little uneasy. Instead of the big clear bubbles, I was getting a foamy layer on top that just didn't look right at all. It smelled kind of good though. I tasted it quickly.

Now most people know that you should never touch caramelizing sugar because it really can burn you. I got to learn this the hard way when I rushed to put cold water on my scalding tongue. But no matter! It tasted okay. The mixture was still pretty clear and had not browed enough yet, so I turned my attention to the "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" while stirring occasionally with a wooden spoon.

Who knew the Fresh Prince could be so captivating? 20 min later I looked down at my burned sugar and water with horror. But I decided to continue anyway. I felt bad in wasting all that sugar.

I dipped a piece of an apple in, waited for it to cool and took a bite. The coating was so sticky. It tasted, well, bad-to be completely honest. BUT, it wasn't terrible and it had potential. Surely following the recipe and giving the food my undivided attention would've resulted in a sweet and delicious treat.

I decided to watch Sherlock Holmes anyway. Even though my toffee apples were messed up, Nutella and apples makes a wonderful compromise.